Seven Things Biden Can Do Now That He’s Officially a King

Photo by Hassan Pasha on Unsplash

Now that the almighty un-elected lifetime-appointed black-robed monarchs on the United States Supreme Court (SCOTUS) have thrown out the country’s core principle that no one — not even a president — is above the law, President — now King — Joe Biden must show those justices and the country what monarchical powers look like.

Since he can no longer be held accountable for “official acts,” here are seven consequential decrees His Majesty can issue to immediately turn the United States into the utopia we have waited two and a half centuries to enjoy.

The Supreme Court

First, fire the six right-wing justices — Kavanaugh, Roberts, Thomas, Alito, Comey-Barrett, and Gorsuch — and replace them with nine — not six — term-limited progressive justices who will re-instate the Roe v. Wade decision, re-hear the Shelby County v. Holder decision, overturn the Citizens United decision, as well as the god-awful most recent decisions the Court made over the past week. If they happen to rule in a way Biden disagrees with, he can just issue executive orders. Why do we even need a Supreme Court at all, then?

Elections & Campaign Finance

To move away from the system of legalized political bribery we have now to a publicly funded electoral…